hiatus and subconscious memories

I have taken an unannounced hiatus from this blog due to a personal tragedy – my father suddenly passed away on July 8. The whole thing was quite unexpected, even by my father, who hadn’t made all of the necessary arrangements in the event of his passing.

As his next-of-kin, I’ve suddenly found myself with a lot of responsibilities, including trying to deal with his financial records, his accounts in various places, his taxes, everything. In an effort to at least try to collect some information about my father’s records, I’ve had to dig through his computer to look at his files and his visited websites to try to get any clues I can about where his accounts may be and who I have to notify. Of course, in the process, I’ve tried to guess my father’s passwords. This quest has involved trying to remember every time I’ve seen my father use a password – at the ATM, to log in to his computer, on his satellite TV account. Because of this (I believe), I’ve started having dreams about sequences of numbers that I remember him using.

I’ve had some limited success with this, using combinations of words and numbers that I’ve been dreaming about him using. It reminds me of the premise of the film Inception, in which people attempt to steal important information from others by infiltrating their dreams. The dream recollection of these strings is interesting to me, as though my mind stored this information because I thought it was important, but I cannot consciously access it.

It’s like my sleeping mind has become fixated on this task, but along the way it has fixated on other things too. Among these: the Truvia commercial jingle, the E major scale as played on the trombone, and the phrase “raising the debt ceiling”. Oh wait, nevermind that last one – that’s the current fixation of every news media outlet I pay attention to.

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